DUNDEE v DUNFERMLINE - Match Preview

A Dundee steward sets a good example by remaining seated...only because she can't stand!

Ignoring a midweek defeat against Rangers – complete with their dodgy penalty of course – the Pars recorded two wins against both Dundee sides, first at Dens then at Tannadice. The place was buzzing and the season seemed to be getting back on track. An excellent 2-1 win at Dens Park, spurred on by a buoyant Pars away support, was followed up by an equally excellent 2-1 triumph at Tannadice, complete with a magnificent last minute Darren Young winner – only a matter of seconds after a certain Colin Stevenson moaned “The Pars never score last minute goals!” I’d like to point out. But since then we’ve been on the kind of run of form which even local boffin Horace Broon would be at a loss to explain.

With a decent Pars support following the team through to Livi last Saturday more of the same will be required this week as the Pars once again travel across the Tay – or the Forth, according to hallucinogenic shirt-wearing mentalist Jim Delahunt – to the gloriously wonderful city of Dundee. Their used to be a time when the only thing you would come away with from the City of Discovery was Chlamydia but nowadays the Pars regularly seem to escape with much-needed league points. With Uncle Fester in the Dundee dugout and Mr Dead in the Pars…erm…seat in the stand, you could be forgiven for thinking someone was staging a low budget horror show this Saturday – having said that, both managers have served something of a horror-show for their club’s respective supporters this season. However a win for either side this Saturday in this latest relegation battle and the future will look anything but horrific for the team in question.

With Aaron Labonte the only likely recovery from last week’s injury list – Nicholson, Makel and Shields remaining on the long-term injury list – the starting eleven should take on a similar look to last Saturday’s side which ‘won’ a point at Almondvale. The only possible change could be the inclusion of Noel Hunt after his goalscoring substitute’s appearance on Saturday – any coincidence that the Ballroom closed the week before do you think? Whether Hunty would be included up-front or on the left wing however is another matter, although with Jesper Christiansen hardly in scintillating form – he traps a ball further than most can kick it! – the big Dane could be set for the drop come the visit of Dens Park.

The battle to avoid relegation on the park this Saturday could, however, play second fiddle to the battle in the stands against the most inept, incompetent, ungracious, bumbling idiots on the planet…or in layman’s terms; the Dundee stewards. From the moment you get your bollocks fondled on the way into the stadium the whole ninety minutes is an act of bravado from a group of skinny geeks acting the hard men (or women, although with the majority of them you can’t tell) for the day. You’re not allowed to sing, you’re allowed to sing, I think they’ve even put a curb on smiling these days as well – an unconfirmed eye witness report even suggested that someone was threatened with ejection for wearing deodorant, “We don’t want your kind in these parts” came the steward’s response. Some were even pushed to describe the stewarding in the away end at Dens Park as more right-wing then Thatcher! If any lunatics out there are thinking about voting Tory in a month’s time then take a trip to Dens Park this Saturday to experience what this country would be like under a fascist…sorry, Tory…government.

So as we fans battle of the pitch to try and prevent half the away support being ‘chucked oot’ again, lets hope the Pars adopt the same kind of fighting spirit on the pitch as the battle to stave off relegation continues.